Have you ever had a moment where you questioned if you are living the life you truly desire or just going through the motions? 2019 was that year for me. After climbing the corporate ladder for most of my 20s, I had finally achieved ‘success’. I had an office, a team, a large book of business, the 6-figure salary, and was completely empty inside. The breaking point for me was one day looking at my then 2-year-old son’s face and realizing that the last 6-months of his life were a blur. I looked around at my counterparts and realized the life they lived was not a reflection of what I wanted for myself, so I began to redefine my definition of success and committed to creating a life I was proud to claim.
During that year, on a plane ride home at the end of a long day of meeting clients and agents, EXHAUSTED, my heart was so burdened that I got out a notebook and let the pen run across the page… What I wrote brings me to tears even now and to this day is my guide for how I define success! I am sharing a portion of that long journal entry with you below.
Warning: This is a post where I get a little personal and let you into my heart.
This Letter to my son, Brooks, was part of the first experience of my life where I redefined success in my own way.
I am a recovering perfectionist who never knew I could be successful in a way that allows me to be 100% true to myself.
This new definition allows me to live in congruence in all areas of my life.
So, without further ado…
Who do I want to be for my son?
I want to be available.
I want him to know mom is around when he is at his best and at his worst.
When he feels on top of the world, I want to be there behind the scenes admiring him and offering feelings that I am so proud of him and am here if he needs me.
When he is at the bottom I want to sit next to him to listen and guide.
I want him to struggle so that he knows the feeling of pulling himself up off of the ground.
I want to pray with him and remind him of who he is. He is my son and he is loved and he can do anything.
I want to be present.
I want him to see me full of life and happy.
I want him to watch me workout and push myself physically. I have been given this healthy, strong body and I will move it.
I will teach him to believe in himself with confidence but to stay humble to the fact that he is human and will make mistakes and he will be ok.
I want him to see me love his dad so well and unconditionally that he only seeks out girls who offer that same pure love.
I want him to see me on my knees when times are hard, because they will be.
I want him to know what it means to be disciplined and to work for what is in his heart.
I want him to be loving and good and giving.
I want to model all of these things for him.
If you have ever had a dream but were too afraid of what others would think or if you were really truly capable of achieving it to move forward, I know how you feel. For me it took one-year of seeking mentorship, prayer, honest conversations with my husband, and a huge leap of faith to leave the corporate world and create a business I was passionate about that allowed me the home and personal life I desired. It has been a journey and the greatest time of my life. But, I can honestly say it is so worth it to take a leap of faith and redefine your definition of success.
If you are a working mom whose heart is burdened because you feel like you have to choose between success and being the mom & wife you desire… believe me when I tell you, you do not have to choose!
The secret is redefining success for yourself. I know because I have been there… You are not alone.
I would love to hear your story… please comment or contact me by clicking here 
